


You Stole A Pizza My Heart

by KaSaPe



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Bad Pick-Up Lines, Crack, Humor, M/M, Oblivious Keith (Voltron), Sexual innuendos, no actual sexual content but y'know
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-04
Updated: 2016-10-04
Packaged: 2018-08-19 13:05:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,942
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8209601
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KaSaPe/pseuds/KaSaPe
Summary: Keith just wanted a pizza. The cute delivery boy with the weird grin and stupid flirting (?) had other plans.Or: Keith just doesn't get Lance's flirting. At all.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Lance's flirting needs its own warning, honestly. Just thought I'd mention it before. 
> 
> Also sorry for any weird mistakes. I don't have a beta and English is hard guys :'D

Keith was tired. 

He had just moved into his new apartment on Monday and hadn’t yet gotten around to unpacking all his boxes between classes, job hunting and martial arts training. It was Friday now, late and he really didn’t want to do anything besides showering and falling asleep.

He was also hungry though, so there’s that.

With a sigh he grabbed his phone and went to dial the number of the pizza place that Shiro had recommended. Apparently one - or multiple? Keith felt kind of bad about not really listening but _goddamn,_ he had been tired - of his friends worked there and he swore it was the best place in town. Keith decided to trust him on that. It was pizza or nothing.

“Good evening, Voltron’s Legendary Pizza here, what can I get you?”, a slightly bored voice answered him.

Maybe he had been overeager with trusting Shiro. That had to be the stupidest name for a pizza place Keith had ever heard of.

“Just a regular pizza marguarita. Please,” he added, almost as an afterthought. He hadn’t even bothered to look at the name of the place, much less their menu, he’d just figured that every place had a simple pizza with tomato sauce and cheese.

And sure enough he wasn’t disappointed. He gave his address, got reassured that his pizza would arrive sometime around 20 minutes from now and ended the call. 20 minutes was more than enough time to take a shower, dig out his wallet and maybe even move some of the boxes out of the entryway, if he had still enough energy left. 

18 minutes later Keith was freshly showered, had at least cleaned out the doorway and was more than ready for his pizza. He had changed into some old sweatpants and a black shirt that he had had to dig out of one of his boxes - he practically lived out of them. The shirt was kind of tight fitting but he honestly couldn't be bothered to search for anything else. Maybe he should unpack tomorrow. Or the day after tomorrow. Or maybe he’d just live out of these boxes long enough to know which one included his clean shirts.

Just when he had blissfully flopped down onto the couch, extra tired of of moving the boxes out of the entryway, his doorbell rang. For a second he contemplated not getting up and letting the pizza delivery guy leave again just so that he didn’t have to _move_ but eventually decided against it. He wasn’t that much of an asshole. Also his stomach was giving him one hell of a time here.

Keith grabbed the money he had set aside earlier and opened the door. All of a sudden the smell of pizza hit his face, he could almost taste it already. Pressing his mouth into a thin line and willing his stomach to keep silent he crossed his arms. 

“Hi, I have a pizza delivery for Keith Ko- _holy shit_.”

In front of Keith was a tan boy with short brown hair and blue eyes who was currently trying (and failing) to close his mouth. It looked ridiculous to say the least.

Also a little cute. But Keith would rather die than admit to that. Besides the pizza was more important right now.

“Yeah, that’d be me.”

It was as if his words had triggered some kind of switch in the boy. He pointedly straightened himself out, cocked his hip to the side and sent him an infuriating smirk. “Well damn. Caught me off guard there for a second,” the boy drawled and moved the pizza from the front to his left side, farther away from Keith.

Why this.

Keith furrowed his brows. He just wanted his pizza.

“Alright. Whatever. Can you just-” he began, but got cut off by the boy again.

“Did you look at our special menu? Do you like it? 'Cause I'd gladly stuff your crust.”

Keith stopped trying to reach for his food and crunched his eyebrows in confusion.

"No, I'm fine, I already ordered anyways. Just give me the pizza?"

The guy's grin froze for a moment before he started laughing.

"What?!" Keith asked defensively. But the boy just shook his head, for some reason still laughing. And now Keith could feel himself starting to get irritated. 

"Listen, just give me the damn-"

"Alright, alright, let me try again," the delivery boy interrupted, still smirking. "Bo y, are you a pizza? Because every slice of you is perfect.”

Was he... a pizza?

“I am no pizza. I _ordered_  pizza. I _am_ starving. So could you just-” Keith impatiently gestured towards the pizza. He could feel himself scowling but was in no mood to try and stop it. He was hungry and tired and now also confused, he didn't deserve this.

Apparently his answer had been enough to help the delivery guy get his senses back. He extended the pizza towards Keith.

“Uh. Sure. Yeah, whatever… um. Here you go. Keith. One pizza for the pretty guy.”

Keith, who had just taken the pizza, promptly let go of it. “ _Shit what-_ ” His precious pizza fell to the ground between them, the cardbox thankfully remaining closed as Keith tried to process what the boy had just called him. Had he really just-?

“Fuck, man, are you alright? Uh, sorry, I could probably get you another pizza for that-”

“No, no, it’s- it’s fine just-” Keith shoved his money at him. “I’ll take it anyway. It should be fine still. No harm done.” He couldn’t look him in the eye anymore, he could _feel_ the heat creeping up his face. Embarrassment rushed through him like some kind of science fiction space ship on the run from aliens that were trying to annihilate it. He wasn't used to getting compliments, much less from people that looked the way that guy did. 

The boy seemed unaware of Keith's mental breakdown and took the change while slowly backing away from him. “Alright, if you’re sure…” he began but before he could finish his sentence Keith picked up his pizza and slammed the door closed, social norms be damned.

What did just happen?

Did the boy flirt with him?!

How come that despite the awkwardness of the encounter he had kind of enjoyed the… compliment? Being called 'pretty boy' was a compliment, right? The guy thought he was... pretty?

Groaning he fell against the door. He had just wanted a pizza. How could so much go wrong with ordering a simple pizza? Did anything even go wrong? Nothing really happened, after all. Just a dude giving another dude a compliment. If it even was a compliment and not an insult of some sort. Sarcasm maybe? If it had been sarcasm the boy was pretty bad at delivering it. And if he was serious-

He didn’t even know the cute guy’s name. But he had slammed his door in his face. Should he open the door again and apologize? No way, this wasn’t- 

Keith cut his own thoughts off before they could go too far. He didn’t like overthinking and dwelling on things, it was wasted time more than anything. Instead he picked up his pizza and peeked inside the cardbox. Half of the toppings were sticking to the top but he figured it didn’t matter much. He’s had worse. He would just eat this, then maybe unpack another few things and go to bed.  

No big deal. Everything was fine.

 

* * *

 

One week later Keith held his phone in his hands and stared down at the pizza delivery card.

He didn't feel as if everything was fine.

The encounter with the delivery boy still sent waves of embarrassment over him whenever he thought back to it. And it wasn't exactly a rare occurrence either: Someone mentioned pizza and his mind was back to him staring at the ground in mortification. Someone said any variation of "cute" or "attractive" and he saw the delivery guy in front of his eyes again. Someone said "pretty" and suddenly Keith could almost hear the words again-

This had to stop. Now. It was Friday again and he was hungry, something that he had noticed would be a reoccurring event in the future.  His regular classes ran late and he had martial arts training right after them which would leave him too exhausted to even attempt cooking. And the pizza place was cheap and Keith had enjoyed the food. So…

So why was he still hesitating?

He was being an idiot.

Wiping any lingering doubts about soft hair and weird smirks aside for the moment he dialled the number. He was greeted by the same bored voice as last time: “Good evening to you, Voltron’s Legendary Pizza here, what can we get you? 

_ It was fine. _

“Hi, this is Keith Kogane again. A regular pizza marguarita.”

_ Would they send the same delivery boy? _

The voice perked up at that. “Sure thing. Address change?”

_ He shouldn’t keep thinking about that. _

“Nah.”

“Alright, expect your pizza in around 20 minutes, Lance will be right over!”

Was Lance _the_ delivery boy?

Keith forcibly wiped that thought away and ended the call. This was getting ridiculous. He had kept remembering the boy and his stupid grin all throughout the week - was it because he had made him a compliment? Was he really that desperate for attention that he couldn’t stop thinking about the guy because of _one stupid comment?!_

Or was it because he was cute?

He could feel himself getting agitated the longer he thought about it. He needed to stop. Stop thinking. Stop… _over_ thinking. He went to take his shower and used slightly-more-aggressive-than-usual towelling as a distracting mechanism. It didn’t really help with the distracting but it did help with making him less frustrated, so he counted it as a success. 

Just a few minutes later his doorbell rang. Keith had hovered anxiously next to the door in order to get this exchange over and done with as fast as possible. All this thinking was stressing him out. 

It was the same boy as last time and he wore a similar dumbfounded look as last time before adapting another smug grin.

“Someone’s eager, huh?” the guy asked, raising his eyebrows.

Keith just scowled. “Pizza?”

“Right here!” The boy lifted the box. “But hear me out first. I've got a better one this time. Did you order your pizza extra spicy? ‘Cause I’m getting hot all over.” His grin widened.

Keith was alarmed. “No. No spice. Did you mix up my order? I am really _not_ in the mood for spicy stuff.” Just yesterday he had met up with Shiro to eat lunch at an Indian takeout place and he had found out that Shiro’s standard for ‘not all that spicy’ equated to his standard of ‘sending each of his tastebuds to the seventh gate of hell’. He didn’t want to see any more spicy food for the next month, minimum.  

There were a few moments of silence before the boy started laughing. Again! Why was he always laughing?!

But god, it was a nice sound.

Keith’s worry turned into annoyance. He needed to stop thinking weird stuff. “What?!”

“No- no it’s just- it’s nothing, forget it.” But the guy kept laughing and Keith’s annoyance just kept growing when he didn’t hand the pizza over.

“If this pizza isn’t spicy after all I’d really like to eat it right about now. I’m getting hungry standing around and wasting my time.”

The boy finally calmed down enough to give him the pizza. “Got it, got it. So… no spicy stuff, huh. I take it you’re more into… _vanilla_ stuff, if you know what I mean?” And the shit eating grin was back.

“Dude, if you are implying that you put vanilla sauce onto this thing-”

And the guy just started laughing _again_ and it took every bit of self control Keith had left to not just slam the door shut in his face and keep the money. This guy wasn’t making any sense and-

His laugh was super cute. Damn it.

“No worries dude, nothing happened to your pizza. We have a reputation to ruin and we can’t have that, now, can we?”

“If you’ve ever really had a reputation to ruin you’ve most certainly ruined it now,” Keith grumbled and shoved the money at him, much like he did last time. He had a faint feeling that this would keep happening if the boy continued to show up. He was irritating and cute (irritatingly cute?) and Keith didn't know how to deal with it.

“Nope, never, I take my reputation very seriously. But I could certainly ruin _other things_ …” At the boy’s weird grin Keith protectively held his pizza close. What was wrong with him. 

“ _Goodbye_.” Keith restrained himself from outright slamming the door and managed to just push it closed a little harder than socially accepted.

The faint  _‘bye pretty boy, ‘till next time’_  Keith heard through the door was probably imagined.

 

* * *

Keith was 99% sure that they would send the same boy again. Lance. That’s what the telephone guy (girl? Guy?! Girl?!) had called him. Lance… he silently mouthed the name and wondered how it would feel like to actually pronounce it. Before he could try it out, a familiar ring got him to open the door instead.

It was him. Lance.

“Okay so, is this going to be, like, a regular thing now? Last time I just said that we'd see each other again but you actually called again. I’ll admit I’m curious.”

For a few moments Keith just stood there and eyed him. Lance seemed genuinely curious about it, no smug grin anywhere in sight. He couldn't find any fault with that, so he shrugged.

“I guess. My days are kind of long on Fridays, I don’t have time or energy left to cook.”

Lance cocked an eyebrow. “You cook?”

“Not really. I heat some stuff up sometimes. But after training I’m really hungry, so…” He let the sentence trail off awkwardly.

“Training? What kind of… _training?_ ” Lance’s voice got all weird again and the stupid look was back. It made Keith realize that he didn’t actually know what was going through the guy's head at the moment, so why did he tell him all that stuff?

“That’s not really any of your business. Could you please just do your job hand me the pizza?”

“Rude! I am very much doing my job right now! See, I delivered the pizza right in front of your door. And I'd be happy to deliver _other things_ as well,” Lance said and waggled his eyebrows.

Keith didn't get it. Why was he like this.

“God. You are annoying. I don't want anything else. Just give me my pizza already!”

“Now we’re getting somewhere. I’ll gladly _give it to you_.” Lance waggled his eyebrows again. Keith just couldn’t understand him.

“I don’t see you doing anything of the sorts.”

“Impatient again? I kinda like that. So… your place or mine?”

Keith crunched his eyebrows together in confusion. He had officially lost sight of the conversation now.

“Mine. I ordered the pizza to be brought to _here_. To my place." Keith spoke extra slowly. " _You already brought it here._ ”

A few seconds passed in silence, then Lance sighed. “You really don’t get it, do you.” It wasn’t even a question, just a statement.

“No,” Keith confirmed. He would happily admit to being clueless five times over if it meant that he'd get his food. “So can I just have my pizza now?”

“I… yeah, sorry. Here you go.” Lance handed him the pizza without any further comments. He seemed gloomy, all of a sudden - Keith didn’t like it. Lance was obnoxious, annoying and confusing but he was supposed to be smiling. This expression just didn’t suit him.

Was it his fault?

Silently, he handed the money over and watched Lance turn around to leave. He didn’t even say goodbye this time.

“Hey!” At Keith’s voice Lance turned around again. His look was questioning but hopeful. So it had been Keith’s fault that Lance was down after all. He had to set things straight again.  
  
“Are you… you know, okay?” His eyebrows drew together again, why was he so bad at this.

But Lance seemed to perk up at that. “Aw, so you do care!”

“I just don’t like you seeing you all… y’know.” Keith gestured at Lance. And just like that Lance’s weird grin was back.

“Are you saying you are _interested_ in me?”  

Keith couldn’t stop his face from heating up again. What was Lance implying?! He wasn’t- Lance was just a delivery boy. A cute and charming delivery boy but- but nothing more.

“You are ridiculous. Forget I ever said anything.”

But Lance was laughing again when he closed the door and he could hear his happiness in the _‘see you next Friday, pretty boy’_ and he knew that he did the right thing. Everything was fine again.

Keith decided to ignore the weird feeling in his stomach. He was probably just hungry.

 

* * *

 

“I’m German, do you wanna try my wienerschnitzel?”

Keith blinked.

“You’re German?”

The grin fell from Lance’s face and he slapped a hand to his forehead. “I knew I should’ve gone with the taco one.”

“The… taco one?” They had barely spoken for a few seconds and Keith was already confused.

“Yeah, the taco one. Next time then. And no, I’m not German, I'm from Cuba, I just-” He took one glance at Keith’s obvious confusion and shook his head. “You know what? Just forget about that. We’ll get there in time.” Keith nodded slowly. They would… get there. Wherever that was.

"Oh, I just realized that I never actually introduced myself - the name's Lance." 

"Keith," he responded automatically. Lance grinned.

"I know that much, pretty boy. Otherwise I wouldn't be able to do my job." Keith could feel himself blushing but didn't know whether it was due to the embarrassment of getting reminded about such an obvious thing or the stupid nickname.

"Right."

There were a few seconds of awkward silence before Lance's senseless chatter filled it up again. "So... did you know that pizza is my second favorite thing to eat in bed?"

"You eat pizza in bed?!" Though Keith had to admit that after the initial shock it did kind of sound appealing. His bed was super comfortable and pizza was delicious so combining these two was bound to give awesome results. Maybe he should try it out today.

Lance shrugged. "Sometimes. But don't you want to know what I like even better?"

"Not really." Keith's mind had wandered to cleaning the sheets from pizza stains. Let's just forget about that.

"Are you sure?" Lance asked, drawing the question out. "Because I'm sure _you_ would enjoy it, too." 

Keith mutely shook his head. He'd had enough pointless stuff for today. 

"Oh come on! Why is this so difficult with you?!" Keith could himself starting to frown but Lance kept going before he could say anything. "Alright, then how about this one: let's play pizza. I'll be the pizza and you'll be the box I come in." Smirk back in place, Lance's eyebrows lifted in that weirdly suggestive way again while he pointed finger guns at Keith.

But Keith just stared blankly as he tried to make sense of this. What kind of game was this. How was he supposed to be a box. Should he hug him? Was than an invitation to a hug? But that's - Keith was pretty sure that people didn't just go around inviting strangers to hug them. 

It was just Lance being weird again. Nothing more.

"How about you just give me the pizza and I'll eat it and that's it?"

Lance's grin widened. "Are we still playing? Because I'm quite alright with that, too."

But he didn't make a move to hand the pizza over and Keith was lost. He kept staring silently at Lance until Lance started laughing hard enough to clutch his stomach with the hand that didn't hold the pizza. It was a warm and infectious laugh - Keith couldn't resist it for long until he felt a smile tugging at his lips, too.

"Okay, okay, I get it, enough of that for today. How was your day?" Lance said conversationally as he finally - finally! - gave Keith his pizza. He shrugged and reached for the money.

"It was fine."

"You know what else is fin-" Lance cut himself off and accepted the money. "No. I just said enough of that. I need to shut up."

Keith chuckled a little and Lance beamed at him. "See you next week?"

"Yeah. See you."

"Well, in the meantime, try not to miss me too much, pretty boy!" Lance winked. Keith was just glad that he had already set the pizza aside or he'd have dropped it again like the first time. Without another comment he closed the door and leaned his forehead against the cool wood.

He needed to get a grip. _Now_.

 

* * *

 

"What is big and hard and right in front of you?" were the words that greeted Keith this time. He frowned as he thought hard about this.

"Your ego?"

Lance spluttered and pointed at him. "You meant to say _your_ ego!"

"I'm not the one that was convinced that you'd miss me," Keith replied without missing a beat. Lance narrowed his eyes.

"There's no way you didn't miss me!" he accused him.

"You are only proving my point, you know." Keith couldn't help the little smile tugging at his lips. Lance was obviously embarrassed and didn't know what to say anymore, if all the flailing he did was any indication to that. 

It was adorable.

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah."  

"Well- you never said you _didn't_ miss me!"

Oh god. Forget adorable. This was stupid and Keith was even stupider. He should _not_ be blushing at that.

But he was and Lance most certainly didn't miss it. "You did! You totally missed me! I knew it!"

"Shut up! No I didn't!" But it was useless protest and they both knew it. Not that Keith would admit to that. He didn't even like admitting it to himself, there was no way he would tell Lance of all people!

"You so did! What was it that you missed most? My charm? My good looks? My handsome smile? My jokes?" Keith was still blushing - _it was all of them_ \- and he didn't know how to react to that. Lance's smile was bright and honest and warmed him from within even while he was making fun of Keith. Damn him. Why was he so cute?

"Fuck you."

"Gladly." And just like that the smile was gone and replaced by the irritating grin that Keith most certainly didn't miss. It threw him off.

"Huh?"

"I said gladly," Lance repeated and rose one smug eyebrow.

Keith just was confused. He didn't understand which statement warranted such a response. Why couldn't they ever have a conversation that didn't end up with him being confused?!

After a few moments of silence Lance's eyebrow dropped down again. "Aww man, why doesn't any of this work?"

"Any of what? Your weird comments?"

"They are not weird! You just don't get them! They are my life's work, my one and only legacy, the essence of my existence and you just-" Keith tried really hard not to look condescending. Judging from Lance's words he failed. "Don't give me that look. They really are- you know what? Just forget it. It's nothing." Then he added under his breath: "Sooner or later you will see the beauty and wit in my lines." 

Keith didn't think that he was supposed to hear that last bit so he ignored it. Lance started talking again.

“So… ah, hang on, Pidge gave me this coupon thing, it’s gotta be somewhere in here…” He started digging around in his pockets with his right hand before shifting the pizza to it and continuing through them with his left hand. “Man, I swear these pockets are connected to a portal to an alien planet, I’ve lost so much stuff in them already, it’s getting ridiculous.”

Keith resisted the urge to say _‘you are ridiculous’_ , he wasn't a child anymore, and shrugged instead. “Or maybe there are just holes in it.”

“Or _maybe_ you can just shut the fuck up,” Lance grumbled. Keith tried his hardest to not be offended at that but failed miserably.

“Well _excuse me_ for trying to give you explanations for losing things that don't make you sound like a dumbass.” Lance’s head snapped up and he seemed ready to argue until he caught sight of Keith’s face. Then he grimaced.

“Uh, sorry. I didn’t mean it like that. Here, hold this for a second.” He handed Keith the pizza and completely ignored the money that Keith held out in return. “I put it in here somewhere, I swear…”

Growing tired of holding both the money and the pizza Keith set them aside. “What exactly are you looking for?”

“Just some coupon… a discount thing since you said that you’d keep ordering from us- it’s like some kind of card for regulars- ah! There it is!” Lance grinned in victory. His grin was kind of cute.

Keith forced the thought back and took the discount coupon. It had the format of a business card with just as much information: the shop name, the phone number Keith had already called 4 times, an address, a blank space for his signature (presumably) and a big red ‘25% OFF’ in the middle. The number had been crossed out and replaced with a 50%.

Unsure Keith raised his head again. “So this means…?”

“50% off on every pizza you get from us. A special treatment for you,” Lance grinned and shot finger guns in his direction. Keith scowled but somehow managed to keep the blushing to a minimum. He was doing that a lot around Lance and didn't like it one bit.

“Wow there, no need to look so pissed off. If you don’t want the thing-” Lance was quick to reach out for it again but Keith pulled it closer.

“No! I mean- no. I’ll take it. It’s great, thanks.” And it really was great, he could save a lot of money if the pizza only cost him half the usual prize.

“It’s my pleasure.” Lance winked at him. For some reason it seemed shakier than normal.

“Uh, do I have to show this to you every time you get here? Or-”

“Nah, it’s more for when you want to come over and buy something during the week. Or if it isn’t me who does the delivery. Basically it’s for anytime you you have to deal with someone other than the most handsome member of Voltron’s pizza crew.” The pose Lance struck left out any doubt on who he was talking about. Keith felt torn between cringing, rolling his eyes and smiling at Lance's antics. He settled on the smile, somehow it felt like the most natural response. 

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

“Yeah. Also if any of them don’t want to give you the whole 50% off just mention my name and it should be fine. You could say that I’m pretty well known there. I'm a, uh... a pretty big shot, you know.”

Keith shot him a blank look. He really was acting even weirder than usual. 

“You are a _delivery boy_.”

“Your point being?” Lance was unperturbed. Keith decided that arguing with him would lead to nothing. Instead he handed half the usual money over and made to close the door.

“Wait, wait!” Lance fell forward as if he wanted to intercept the door but didn’t know whether that’d be overstepping any boundaries. Keith stopped his movement and listened.

“It’s just… uh… just. Take good care of that card? Don’t… um, don’t throw it away. Please. I mean, you totally could, if you wanted to. I was just-” Lance cut himself off and breathed in deeply. “Okay, whatever. Forget that. See you next week!” And with that he turned around and left.

“See you… next week.” More than a little confused Keith closed the door and looked down at the 50% OFF card again. He flipped it over, it was empty on the other side. He didn’t get why it was so important, but if Lance wanted him to keep it, he’d just place it on the on the counter next to his keys. It’d be right next to the door if Lance asked for it next week.

 

* * *

 

“Are you a tortilla? Because I want to flip you over and eat you out!”

Keith didn’t even know what he had expected at this point. The Voltron pizza place didn’t even sell tortillas.

“You said you wanted to use a taco one this week. Or well, last week, actually.”

Lance furrowed his brows. “No, I’m pretty sure I said tortilla.” 

“No. Taco, definitely.” It didn’t even matter. What was he doing.

Well, whatever he was doing seemed to work anyway. Lance started smiling brightly again. “Alright, if you are so eager to hear another one-”

“Oh, now that I think about it, you were absolutely right, you said tortilla. No tacos anywhere.”

“Come on, Keith. I know you want a piece of _my_ taco.” Keith never should have said anything, the stupid weird grin was back and it was as infuriating as ever.

And as far as Keith could see Lance didn't carry a taco with him anyways. 

“Actually, I just want my pizza. For half the price.” He held up the coupon and watched with satisfaction as Lance’s eyes widened.

“You kept it! I mean- of course you did. Obviously. Who would throw such a present away, am I right?” Lance chuckled nervously. There was something that didn’t add up here and it bothered Keith that he wasn't able to figure it out... not that it mattered much. It was about Lance so it was probably just whatever. 

Right?

“Are you going to sell me the pizza before it gets cold?”

“Oh! Right, the pizza.” Lance looked as if he’d genuinely forgotten about his job, despite Keith showing him the coupon. Somehow it made him feel happy that he had such an effect on the other boy.

“What did you order this time?” 

“Same as always,” Keith said while shrugging. He tried to take the pizza and give Lance the money but Lance sighed dramatically and moved it away a bit. Fucker.

“You know, you should totally take a look at the menu. We have a lot more to offer, this plain stuff gets boring with time.”

“No it doesn’t. It’s fine.” Keith noticed that he was scowling again and tried to smooth his features out. Shiro kept telling him that people didn’t enjoy being scowled at.

“Nuh-uh dude. I bet you never even looked at it.”

“I totally did! I know what’s on the menu! I just like this one the best.” Keith mentally apologized to Shiro for ignoring his advice but this guy was just too  _annoying_  not to scowl at. And frustrating. And confusing.

And cute.

Goddamn it.

“Oh yeah? Then what do we have?” Lance raised a challenging eyebrow. Keith promptly forgot every single pizza he had ever heard of.

“Uh… there is, like… something with lots of cheese and… ham? And something with-”

“Wro-ong!” Lance sing-songed. His smug grin was back in place and Keith was ready to punch him. Hard. Right in his annoyingly perfect face. “What’s on the menu? Me-n-u! That’s a classic, come on Keith!”

Keith didn't get it.

“Menu?”

“Yes! Me-n-u!” The finger guns were back and Keith almost closed the door in his face, pizza be damned.

“It's spelled M-E-N-U, you have to pronounce the M and the E separately,” he said instead.

“No! I mean, yes. But it's like- me and- oh come on, you can’t be that dense.” At least Lance’s overly confident posture disappeared. He felt kind of proud of that.

“I have no clue what you are trying to say. How about you just give me my pizza for once and be done with it?” He was getting hungry, even if he enjoyed talking to Lance. Maybe he enjoyed it even a little too much...

“You can’t be serious.” When Keith didn’t say anything else he sighed dejectedly. “Yeah, yeah, I got it, pretty boy. Here you go.”

And, damn it all, Keith could feel the way blood shot up to his cheeks. He took the pizza, careful to not drop it and tried to fight the funny feeling in his stomach. 

“Why do you keep calling me that?!”

“What? Pretty boy?” Lance blinked as if he didn’t expect the question.

“Yes,” Keith spat out through gritted teeth. He handed him the money maybe a little too violently.

“Uh, because you are attractive? Like, super attractive? Was that a serious question?”

Keith’s brain shut down. He could feel the words mashing together in his head but they didn’t make any sense. Lance thought he was… attractive? Super attractive? Lance? But he wasn’t- they didn’t even- 

At the lack of a response from Keith, Lance forced a grin and backed off a bit. “Alright, um, if that’s all, I’ll just- I’ll just leave… have fun with your pizza! See you next time!” And he darted away, presumably to his delivery cart.

Keith stared after Lance’s retreating figure and tried to get his brain to work again. The words finally registered when Lance was already out of sight - and Keith was thankful for that because he could feel his head getting even redder than before. Slowly he closed his door and leaned his weight against it, trying to breathe evenly and get his heart to slow down.

Heart… slowing down?

Keith knew next to nothing about the guy. He knew that he was a delivery boy at Voltron’s, had an annoyingly cocky attitude, a weird sense of humor, a cute little grin, a certain warmth around him that made it easier to talk to him, thought _Keith_ was _attractive_ even though _Lance_  was obviously the attractive one-

Oh god.

He was fucked.

Closing his eyes, he exhaled shakily.

 

* * *

 

It was a Tuesday when Keith came home early after his professor cancelled his last classes for the day. He had decided that today was a good day to catch up on a little sleep before starting on the physics assignment that he had had to hand in on Thursday.

Exhausted he threw his keys on the counter next to the door, only to realize that he had accidentally pushed Lance’s stupid discount coupon off the counter. It fell between the counter and the wall which meant that Keith would have to move the wooden piece of furniture to the side to reach it- he’d do it later.

Right as he made to leave for his bed Lance’s weirdly insecure face appeared before his eyes again. _‘It’s just… uh… take good care of that card?’_

Fucking Lance. 

Cursing a little under his breath Keith got to work and pushed the thing aside. He couldn't believe that he gave up on sleep to make sure a little paper card that totally would still be there after he woke up was back on the counter where it belonged. At least the small table wasn’t too heavy yet with him having moved in only weeks earlier. There hadn’t been much of an opportunity to collect dust behind it either. And the card was easy to spot, too - the red 50% OFF text practically screamed at him to pick it up. Small blessings.

Keith pressed his thumb to the card to pick it up and avoid it sliding across the floor. It worked and Keith secured it beneath his keys before attempting to move the counter back when something else caught his eye.

There was a second card, apparently previously stuck to the first one. It was an exact replica of the other one, except that the 25% off hadn't been crossed out. There were some ink stains on it though that suggested it had come in contact with something else. Had it been stuck to the back of the other card? 

Frowning, Keith picked up that card to a nd flipped it over. Nothing. It was just like the other card. "Must've accidentally-"

Keith blinked and stopped himself before reaching for his original card and turning it over. And sure enough, there was something written in blue pen. Keith squinted at the writing of some numbers and the  almost indiscernible handwriting beneath it.

“Tcxt- no, text... me. La-” Keith stopped reading it out loud.

He stared at the paper as if the words would magically turn into other ones. But they didn’t and Keith could almost hear the seconds he wasted just staring at the little card-

_Holy shit._ He had Lance’s phone number. 

 

* * *

 

It was Friday again and Keith paced agitatedly in front of his door, waiting for Lance to show up. He had contemplated sending him a text message but figured it would be weird to do so after not sending anything for… two weeks now. He has had Lance's phone number for two weeks now. No wonder Lance had seemed so surprised that Keith had kept the coupon back then.

Oh god, this was such a mess. Keith would address it personally, explain what happened and ask him why he had given him his number. 

Just because he thought that Keith was attractive it didn’t mean that he wanted to- he didn’t even know, what did Lance want? Get to know him? Fuck? Go on a date? Just become friends?

When the doorbell rang Keith was at the door in record speed.

_“You gave me your phone number!”_

“Actually, I’m pretty sure that was Lance. And he gave his number. I think. I hope. Otherwise this will get really weird because I kind of have a girlfriend already. Sorry. It’s not that, um, it's not that I don’t think you are attractive or anything but yeah. Definitely not interested. Sorry again.”

Keith blinked at the stranger in Voltron’s delivery uniform in front of his door. It was a big guy with skin just a tad bit darker than Lance’s had been and he seemed to almost be nervous in the way he avoided looking Keith in the eyes.

“Where is Lance?” The question was out before Keith even registered that he had thought it. It sounded kind of harsh and he almost regretted asking it - almost. His desire to speak to Lance or even just know where he was outweighed making a good first impression on the guy.

The guy scratched his head.

“Okay so, here’s the thing. Lance has this flirting thing with you going on, right? And I don’t know what exactly happened last time but he came back and was convinced that he fucked up somehow. Pidge and I were like: ‘no way man, if he put up with you and your shitty pick up lines for five weeks already - six weeks? - you can’t possibly have fucked this up’ but he was like: ‘no you don’t understand I made an honest compliment, I told him that he was hot and he just stood there and stared at me and didn’t say anything’ and- I’m rambling, aren’t I?”

Keith nodded mutely.

“Uh. In essence he is too embarrassed to come talk to you right now. He and I switched jobs for this delivery.” Keith just kept staring, he didn’t really understand what was happening.

Lance was embarrassed to talk to him?

“Oookay, it’s kind of weird to have this conversation outside, can I maybe come in for a bit? I promise I won’t touch anything!”

It wasn’t as if he had anything to lose, so why not. “Just set the pizza down to the left, there is the kitchen.” Keith opened the door a little further to make enough space for the guy to come in. He entered and immediately started looking around before turning left into the kitchen.

“Aww, what a cozy little apartment! It’s really cute, it kind of reminds me of Shay’s-” Keith cleared his throat and closed the door. The guy let out an awkward laugh. 

“Right. Back to the point. My name is Hunk and I am Lance’s coworker. I - over here is fine?” Keith nodded and Hunk set the pizza on the tiny table that doubled as his eating and workplace. “Lance is not here today because he is too embarrassed to face you after whatever happened last week. What happened last week?” Keith tried to think back but all the encounters were somehow mingled together.

“I think there was something about tortillas. And-” _and he had said that Keith was attractive._ “and… menus?”

Hunk nodded thoughtfully. “Whatever it was, your reaction really threw him off. I mean, he was always complaining about the ‘mixed signals’ you were sending but last week he was like ‘nope that’s it I completely fucked it up I can’t face him ever again’.”

Keith tried really really hard to make sense of these words but somehow it seemed as if he was missing out on something important. “I don’t- ‘mixed signals’?”

“Yeah. The first time he came back he told us that it was cute how you were oblivious to his pick up lines-”

“C-cute?!”

“But he was sure that you were interested in him at least a little bit because you were blushing or something? And that kept repeating itself over the next few weeks. There was the week in which he gave you his number and-”

“Lance thinks I’m _cute?_ ” Keith’s voice cracked a little.

“Uh-huh. Also hot. If we don’t shut him up he’ll talk hours about your hair or your muscles or your face when you are blushing or how easily you get confused-”

Keith tried really _really_ hard not to turn red at that and failed spectacularly. He could feel the heat radiating from his head, it was probably around the right temperature to fry an egg. Hunk noticed and took pity on him.

“In any case, if the your encounters were even close to similar to how Lance told them about us we figured that there had to be a misunderstanding. Like, you are definitely interested. Aren’t you? You don’t even have to say anything, your face says it all.”

Keith felt ready to die.

“So we figured that there probably was a reason for which you didn’t react to him. Or text him two weeks ago. Or didn’t understand his flirting. Which, honestly, is totally understandable… I don’t understand his flirting methods either. His pick up lines are literally the worst.”

“Pick up lines?” Keith asked weakly. Had Lance… had Lance actually flirted with him? _Right from the beginning?_ How had he not noticed?

“Oh, you know - ‘I might not be going down in history but I’ll be going down on you.’ Or ‘Are you a photographer? Because I can picture us together.’ He worked really hard on the ones he used with you, he kept telling us that they had to be perfect and food themed or you wouldn’t appreciate them…”

Oh my god. All the times in which Lance had talked about weird stuff he had actually been _flirting_ with him?! What kind of flirting was that?!  

“I think I need to sit down for a moment,” Keith croaked after a bit. He sat down on the only chair in the room which left Hunk awkwardly hovering at his side.  

“So… I take it that his lines were just so bad that you didn’t get them?” Hunk asked.

Keith nodded. 

“And… the not texting him was because...?”

"There was a second card stuck to the back that just fell off this week," Keith answered weakly.

“Oh. Well, that definitely puts things into perspective. And the not reacting to him last time was probably also a misunderstanding? You are interested in him, too?” 

Keith’s face heated up again but he nodded once more. He couldn’t bear look at Hunk, all of this was so embarrassing.

Hunk seemed content though. “Alright, now that we’ve cleared that up I’ll head out again! I’ll tell him that it was just one biiiiig misunderstanding and everything is fine between you two and you’ll text him, yeah?” 

“I… yeah. Yeah, I’ll do that. Thanks for everything.” Keith still had a hard time wrapping his head around all of this. _‘What’s on the menu? Menu!’_ \- that had been Lance _flirting?!_

“No biggie. See you around, I suppose!” Hunk grinned. He waved and was already halfway out of the door when Keith got up and shoved the money for the pizza at him.

“Oh, just consider it a-”

“Take it. I can’t deal with any more weird stuff today.”

Hunk blinked a few times, then shrugged and took the money.

“Alright. I mean, I don’t get why you would call free food ‘weird stuff’ but whatever works for you, buddy. Bye!”

“Bye. And thank you again!” He watched as Hunk raised a hand in acknowledgement and disappeared behind the corner to the open parking lot.

Alright. Forget the pizza for now. He had something to do.

 

* * *

 

**To Lance [21:35]** You are a fucking idiot.

 

**From Lance [21:37]** listen up idk who you are but ill let u know that im not an idiot. im awesome!

 

**To Lance [21:37]** It’s Keith. Your ‘pretty boy’

**To Lance [21:38]** Lance?

**To Lance [21:46]** Alright fuck you too i’ll go eat my pizza now

 

* * *

 

 

**From Lance [22:13]** KEITH?

**From Lance [22:13]** IS THIS RLLY U???

 

**To Lance [22:17]** Yes it’s me dumbass

 

**From Lance [22:18]**  omg so hunk just explained evertyhing to me and

**From Lance [22:18]** idk what to say really

 

**To Lance [22:18]** Oh? For once mister Big Shot doesn’t have anything to say?

 

**From Lance [22:19]** FCUK U

**From Lance [22:19]** I WAS NERVOUS OK  

**From Lance [22:19]** UR HOT

**From Lance [22:19]** BUT YOU NEVER REACTED TO MY BEAUTIFUL LINES

 

**To Lance [22:20]** Beautiful lines? Like ‘what’s on the menu? menu! come on keith that one's a classic’?

 

**From Lance [22:20]**  are you serioy rn

**From Lance [22:20]** *serious

**From Lance [22:20]** IT’S ME-N-U!

 

**To Lance [22:20]** Yes Lance, I do know how to spell 'menu'

 

**From Lance [22:21]** N O YOU IDIOT

**From Lance [22:21]** ME - N - U

**From Lance [22:21]** ME - AND - YOU

**From Lance [22:21]** come on keith

**From Lance [22:23]** keith??

**From Lance [22:24]**  youre blushing arent u

 

**To Lance [22:24]** Shut up

**To Lance [22:24]** I’m not

 

 **From Lance [22:24]** SO ARE  

**From Lance [22:25]** i knew it my lines are perfect

 

**To Lance [22:25]** No they really aren’t if you have to explain them

 

**From Lance [22:25]** ur just slow pretty boy

 

**To Lance [22:26]** I’m not. They are just really bad.

 

**From Lance [22:28]** then… how about we meet up and i explain every single one to you

**From Lance [22:30]** keith??

**From Lance [22:31]** nvmd forget it

 

**To Lance [22:31]** Pick me up at 6 tomorrow

 

**From Lance [22:32]** got it! bright and early!!!

 

**To Lance [22:32]** 6 PM YOU IDIOT

 

**From Lance [22:32]** thats early!!

**From Lance [22:33]** i get up at 2 on weekends

 

**To Lance [22:33]** You are a fucking idiot.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> !! Now there is art for this fic!! Here, take a look at [a scene of their first meeting](http://keiths-stupid-mullet.tumblr.com/post/159073523643/urilysjaewul-my-second-fan-art-for-one-of), it's all kinds of amazing. Check out [the artist's blog](http://urilysjaewul.tumblr.com/) too, they are super nice and drew other Voltron stuff as well^^ I can't thank them enough for it ♥
> 
> Find me on [tumblr](http://keiths-stupid-mullet.tumblr.com/)!  
> /edit: or on [twitter](https://twitter.com/ka_sape), I just made an account there if you prefer that :P


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